it's 3am in the morning and i have this sudden urge to blog before i go off to my dreamland. well, i belive term 2 had been a rather tiring yet fruitful term for all ajceans, my sincere congrats to all sports and aesthetics groups who have done exceptionally well and done the school proud, and not forgetting all who put in all their effort to achieve an honor for the school. well, i must say i have been on a rather depressing mood recently, not solely due to my disappointing results but also my cca, till this very moment when i'm about to step down and graduate, i am still unable to feel belonged and passionate about the cca that i'm in. i dunno why and i just cant explain why. Trying to take up more leadership roles in jcs really drained me out. i cant explain why i am not able to enjoy myself as though when i was in my secondary school. is it due to my unwillingness tostep out of my comfort zone? perhaps so, but still, i do not wish to face the reality, well at least, not at this very moment when my common tests' coming. wish me luck ppl. i need it, lotsa of it so as to boost my morale and confidence once again like i used to be and have in myself. if there's so much i must be, can i still just be me, the way i am? can i trust in my own heart, or am i just one part of some big plan? the future seems narrow and dark, cant see the road that's laid for me, tears blurred my vision, my motto. where will aj and alevel lead me to? the uni? or just another disappointing moment? went to TemaskPoly recently, mich showed me around the school, it was magnificent and filled with the smell of unleashed freedom. the freedom that i longed for. what on earth am i doing now in jc, in an unfamilar environment, a world which i dun orignially belong to. what am i doing? i have no idea...who can be there for me to guide me through the path of darkness. all the things around me seem to be telling me that it is my retribution for being too greedy and to step into the world that doesnt belong to me at all. drunken in my sorrows...
