LK.HER.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Here I am, back in my previous company - United BMEC. I shan't go into details about this company but if you guys would like to know more, feel free to browse through their site.

Anyway, coming back to it. I'm bored needing to liaise between the HSA authorities and suppliers, and to prepare licensing documents and go through internal and external audits again and again. I'm just too lazy for all these tedious paperwork that requires mental strength. But I guess I don't have a choice here, it's either me having to starve for my next semester or slog now for more petty cash. I want to slack, I want to rot, I want to stay at home. Just bear with me for this post alright. I just feel like whining in this boring lifeless office.

Well, I should be glad at least for having a nice desk, cushioned chair, personal computer with Internet access, a phone that has no restrictions to whom I want to call to, and I can IM in the office, fine, and blog as well. I can do as much so long I don't get caught red-handed I suppose. That's only for the blogging part, I should also be glad to have a few, though not much, nice colleagues who will joke around with me halfway through the boring afternoon.

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This is simply TORTUROUS.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

许多人曾多次问过我：“你，还喜欢那个人吗？”大家似乎有着共同的默契，在我面前多尽量避免提到他的名字。而我，从不知道该怎么回答他们。。。

说我还喜欢他吗?

老实说，我连他的长相都不太记得，这样的我，真的还喜欢他吗？

那，该说我已经不爱着他了吗？

如果真是这样，那为何想起他还是会心痛、流泪呢？每每只要听到悲切的歌，我就会因为想起他而泣不成声，想起我那被辜负、被唾弃的爱情。。。那是我的真心呀，他却毫不留情地将我的真心结碎。支离破碎的我再也不会、再也不敢把我的心交出去，因为不想再受伤、不想再流泪，所以选择了把自己武装起来。尽管孤傲的心已慢慢的解冻，再次对爱情蠢蠢欲动，但理性却无时无刻不在提醒着自己曾因爱而受伤的痛楚，让动摇的心又打退堂鼓。

想了许久，我想，或许我所喜欢的、所追寻的、所紧握的、不是他这个人而是当下的感觉、当时的记忆。我会哭，不是因为还爱着他，而是太思念当时的回忆，当时那情窦初开的感觉。我仍在找寻一个可以给我同样的感觉的人，marcel说那时一个不可能的任务，因为这世上不会有两个人会给我同一样的感觉，也许吧，也许真的再也没有人能给我那时的感觉，但我想等，我想等待下一个能给我同样的感觉的人出现，就算几率很小很小，我也想放手一搏，等待。

Friday, December 05, 2008

Felt like blogging in Chinese again, but shall bear with it for today. Well at least there's something I realise for now, that is, I blog in Chinese whenever I am emo. Haha. I just feel that I'm better at expressing myself in Chinese words. English only has 26 alphabets, come on. Nevermind, as much I loathe the Chinese modules that I'm taking right now in NUS, which has ended thank god, but I cant deny my love for Chinese Language.

Enough of Chinese and English here, the main subjects for today's entry are another two EMO songs that I like. Haha. emo. Emo. EMo. EMO. The songs are from a Taiwanese drama - Miss No Good aka 不良笑花.

歌手: 潘玮柏
曲名: 同一个遗憾; 不良笑花插曲

剩下我们坐在岸边
看着她越走越远

白色星星迎着海面

沙滩好远

而她的心去了哪里

我们都无能为力

是谁的手能牵她回来

Don't she know
Don't think so

爱上了同一个遗憾

恍然明白那时候
为何要对彼此为难

Tell me she knows

I don't think so

我们都不属于他的爱

不能重来的伤害

我们都学会了释怀

两个朋友一个最爱

不可能有的未来

只是结局却让我们

如此意外

她的决定终于太慢

看那微笑的安排

你怪谁的错 我们都失败

Don't she know

Don't think so

爱上了同一个遗憾

恍然明白那时候

为何要对彼此为难

Tell me she knows
I don't think so
我们都不属于他的爱
不能重来的伤害
而我们都学会了释怀

歌手：杨丞琳
曲名：带我走；不良笑花片尾曲

每次我總一個人走
交叉路口自己生活
這次你卻說帶我走
某個角落就你和我

像土壤抓緊花的迷惑
像天空纏綿雨的洶湧
在你的身後
計算的步伐每個背影每個場景
都有發過的夢

帶我走到遙遠的以後
帶走我一個人自轉的寂寞
帶我走就算我的愛
你的自由都將成為泡沫
我不怕 帶我走

每次我總獨自遠走
保持沉默不皺眉頭
這次你卻說一起走
如此溫柔從此以後

像土壤抓緊花的迷惑
像天空纏綿雨的洶湧
在你的身後計算的步伐每個背影每個場景
都有發過的夢

帶我走到遙遠的以後
帶走我一個人自轉的寂寞
帶我走就算我的愛
你的自由都將成為泡沫
我不怕 帶我走

白茫留過漆黑盡頭
潮汐襲來浪花顫動
停在海岸結成了沫哦～

成爲朝向草原其中
又在傳來一滴彩虹
刻在心中拍打著脈搏

帶我走到遙遠的以後
帶走我一個人自轉的寂寞
帶我走就算我的愛
你的自由都將成為泡沫
我不怕 帶我走

帶我走
就算我的愛你的自由都將成為泡沫
帶我走～

“ 可能因为当时年纪还小，感受特别深刻。
那时候听到的笑话，特别觉得好笑；
那时候喜欢上的人，也更不容易忘记。
但
也许这个笑话并不是最好笑的，
那个人也不是最适合自己的人。
只是
我把自己停留在小时候，捨不得长大。”

好希望自己最后能够像贾思乐一样潇洒，说出“走吧，人不能一直活在过去”这样的一番话。但希望归希望，我始终不是贾思乐，我没他那么潇洒、没他那么有气度、没他那么帅的跟自己的过去道别。因为害怕失去自己所拥有的那些，珍贵的回忆。我好怕哪天如果一松手，这些紧握在手中的回忆就会随风逝去，就像断了线的风筝一样、从手心滑过的气球一样，永远失去。

或许有些人会说真正的回忆是藏在心里任谁也带不走的。也许吧，也许真的是这样，但你能想象吗，当有一天你坐下来努力的想想起小时候的回忆，或是想试着记起在小学所发生的点点滴滴，突然你发现你自己不记得了，或是只记得零零碎碎的片断时，当下的感受，你能体会吗？那种在记忆盒里翻箱倒柜的焦虑、那种因为不记得和最要好的朋友一起做过的傻事而觉得对不起他们的内疚与伤感，你能想象吗？或许那些人说的并不是没有道理，但对我来说并不是这样，我不想再重蹈覆撤，不想再忘记、不想再失去，因为我把那些记忆看得比自己的生命还重要，就像氧气般的重要。就算知道眷恋只会让自己更软弱，我还是会一意孤行的死守那些回忆，因为，如果没有那些回忆一直支撑着我，我不可能会走到今天。

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Was out with ding at pasir ris the whole Tuesday. It started off when I told her I needed a break after the exams, and we decided to go to Ehub. As usual, I was late and poor ding had to wait for me for a long 35mins or so. SORRY. Well apparently, the bus driver seemed to pick up the properties of a tortoise.

We wanted to catch the k-lunch initially but I was late, so ya, we decided to head to White Sands instead. Shopped Shopped Shopped. Haha. Our last stop was at Poh Kim VCD Outlet, it's one shop that cannot be missed whenever I'm out. In the end, ding got herself a VCD and the one that I was looking for was OUT OF STOCK!

Brunch at food court after the shopping spree to find ourselves disgusted with the Korean food there. It was filling BUT not satisfying. We ordered Spicy Chicken Hotplate and yet the chicken wasn't spicy nor sweet. It was bland and what irks me the most was the Kimchi they served. It was ... So one piece of advice from me:

Do Not Try the Korean Stall at the White Sands Food Court

Headed down to Ehub for k-box and movie session! Managed to convince ding to sing a little and I felt I was the only one enjoying that singing. Lk's so lucky to have friends always tolerating her nonsense. Thanks Ding. The room was freezing to that extent ding and I were like walking ice bars when we made our way to the ladies before heading down the level for our movie.

Caught the movie Four Christmases - I simply love it. Haha. The movie was short, engaging, hilarious, and meaningful. I would rate it 4 outta 5 stars cause it's one real gem to watch for this Christmas-y period. I shan't do much talking here cause the movie will speak for itself. Parted with ding at around 7.30pm or so and headed home bringing satifying moments with me. :)

P.S. A Short Trailer of Four Christmases. Enjoy.